Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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