oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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