Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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