My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize