fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
