Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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