apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
