oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
