I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm really busy with my period
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