I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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