just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
