I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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