Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
