Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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