Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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