Moan for me like Helen Keller
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
