Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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