I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
