meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize