they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize
