and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
