I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
