There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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