So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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