I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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