my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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