I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
