Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
