We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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