Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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