Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
