i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
