put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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