I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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