I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
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Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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