If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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