Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
