Say something about gay babies.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
