it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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