I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
how drunk are you?
Several
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