you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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