I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
