don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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