What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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