I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
