My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
