Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
