Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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