I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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