toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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