he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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