I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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