your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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