Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize