please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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