He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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