Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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