I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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