it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
