so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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