Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
