I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
