I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
