well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
