I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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