You're my little dorito
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
