Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
